Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
