Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Do vagina's smell?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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