all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
