Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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