Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
