So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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