How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
