You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
As shirtless as possible
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
