I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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