Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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