My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize