There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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