i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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