Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
