the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
that is very illegal...i love you.
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