Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
