So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
