dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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