Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
