seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
