they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
