Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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