I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
