Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
