i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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