I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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