Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
