come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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