oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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