saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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