dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
