I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
