Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
