i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We need to get me chipped asap
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
