i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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