Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize