Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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