okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
