Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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