Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
