I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it hurts more in the daytime
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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