Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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