Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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