Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
