Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
