You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
