shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
