"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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