dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
