I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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