I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
