I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
