what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
