Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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