Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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