we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
