he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
