Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize