I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
