Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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