I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I intend to get homeless drunk
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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