my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
