p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
