I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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