Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I understand Curling. That high.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
