is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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