normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
